We often have difficulty getting along with others who want something different for themselves than we want for them; or alternatively, who want something for us that differs from what we want for ourselves.
Think about your children. Are you currently having a conflict? If so, perhaps you are expressing to them a hidden wish that they would want something different for themselves. I want my son to get higher grades. He does not care about grades. We are in conflict. What does my son want that I can want for him also? What about your child(ren)?
Based on How NASA Builds Teams, by Charles J. Pellerin